Mash's Musings

Muslim millenial value stack

Published May. 9, 2021

  1. Not comingling with the other sex. It's the 21st century, you're not a bigot/misogynist/sexist. Definitely an anti-value.
  2. Being homophobic. Still living in the 21st century, you're not a bigot/homophobe. You're maybe not really totally 110% comfortable with it but let's not dwell on that. Probably an anti-value.
  3. Wearing recommended clothing. "Woah, are you backwards or repressed?" Maybe an anti-value.
  4. Not watching porn or masturbating. Nobody has ever talked about this out loud so maybe it's not even technically illegal. Let's say decriminalized if it's less than twice a day. You're secretly hopeful that incognito mode protects you from employers and omnipotent beings.
  5. Understanding the Qu'ran. You've read the whole Qu'ran, maybe even more than once. Of course, to keep its integrity, you read it in Arabic. Unfortunately, you don't speak a word of Arabic and reading it in English never occurred to you.
  6. Reading the Qu'ran. See above.
  7. Praying. Recommended but optional. Kind of like the extra non-graded assignments your teachers recommended; yeah you should be doing them but nobody else is doing them and you'll probably still pass.
  8. Giving zakat. You'll definitely do this when you have the money, that's just not yet. And you're pretty sure your dad's still paying for your entry on the holy ledger so you're probably fine.
  9. Not having sex before marriage. What does this even really mean? Anything but PIV is fine, right? Maybe you've crossed that line too but what does it really matter if you're planning on getting married to this person? And even if you're not planning on marrying this person, what does it really matter if you're planning on getting married to some person at some point?
  10. Not drinking or taking drugs. You're not really gonna try to justify this one but hey, nobody's perfect. People need to loosen up a little. Maybe this is only for special occasions... Which occur two to four times a week.
  11. Observing Ramadan. Super important time to make up for all your other slippages. Double down here and you buy yourself another year of mistakes, right? But exceptions are required. An actual quote from the past week, "I know it's Ramadan but I'm still definitely down for tomorrow night. I have been needing to get fucked up."
  12. Not eating pork. The most sacred aspect of faith, never to be questioned and never to be broken. This is your hill to die on. Having beers with your friends and they're about to order pepperoni pizza? "I can't, I'm Muslim."

Don't take this too seriously in case I got your order wrong. Just some funny observations from decades spent growing up around people trying to reconcile identity, faith, and life in North America.