Mash's Musings

Duality of characteristics

Published Aug. 26, 2021

"Your strengths are your weaknesses". This is something I've heard a few times but have come to recently see the wisdom in. Most of the things we like about ourselves are usually the things that bring us down in our own eyes or those of others. The more we get to really know someone, or the less we see ourselves in them, the more likely we are to frame things as nuisances or weaknesses as opposed to the strengths. This holds most true for ourselves and second most true for family. Here are some examples I could think of:

The good thing is that we can always reframe things and immediately see the effect. Next time you find yourself annoyed at someone, think about the strength coming from that weakness. Is the person nagging you or displaying concern? Your choice. It's easier to see one side based on our mind or interpretation of that person. In our own internal narratives we are deeply nuanced, complex characters but others are often simplified to good or bad.

I think the most important thing is not to constantly try and reframe everything as a strength, but rather to decide whether our friend, family, or lover's strength-weakness pairs are cumulatively "enough". Making a conscious decision about the strengths we love so that when they manifest as weaknesses, we can remind ourselves of why we put up with them in the first place.